I was talking to Ben Lo at church this morning and he mentioned I needed to tell this story.

Ok. I’ll tell it.

I started thinking about writing in 1998. I was on the rocks with my husband. At that point, my life was in complete turmoil and I was trying to get it back. My then-husband, Shannon, and I had split up and gotten back together. I wasn’t able to hold it together and I left him again. This time for good. But during that time, I started thinking about writing. About fantasy. I actually had a few ideas that I jotted down. But I didn’t feel “Done” yet. In the sense of Madame Pompadour-Dr Who “Done.” I felt like I was messed up inside and needed to live and clean myself up and maybe then I’d have something to say.

So I proceeded to live for a couple of decades. God cleaned me up. But that’s another story.

I met my husband Rodney in 2000. We started talking online. I was separated. My divorce was final in 2001, things were a little complicated. We married in 2003. I think it was 2001 that Robert Jordan came to Ft Knox. With Harriet, his wife. And Rod drove me to the PX. It was January, my birthday. He drove me down there and we got in and I got to talk to Mr Jordan, alone, for a good 20+ minutes. No one else showed up.

I wanted to ask him about the taint being cleansed. How that worked exactly. Because to me infinity can’t filter infinity. It’s infinite. It will just. keep. going. But he gave me some BS answer and sent me on my way. He looked like this.

He reminded me of my dad. All that and yes, he was an amazing guy. But he reminded me of my dad. That was my big takeaway. It was still an amazing moment for me.

My Dad, for those of you who are interested.

I wrote during this time. I made notes and sketches of the Chymaera. They weren’t called that then, they were just gryphons. Winged lions. I didn’t really know what I wanted. I just started to build a world. And then we got married and life happened and I put it all away. I think I didn’t think I could do it.

A few years ago, I got it all back out.

I’d been very involved in global Ingress and that came to a screeching, devastating, halt. I needed a new gig. I started writing for fun on Wattpad. I was very angry with one of my favorite writers, something he said during an interview. I was determined to best him. I kept writing. Lo and behold… I ended up writing this book. And here we are. I publish in September.

But I don’t know I would have written it if I hadn’t been driven-to-distraction mad by the lack of good fantasy writing out there. You see, Jordan was a devout Episcopalian. Devout. And there was something in his writing that spoke to me and I believe, eventually drove me back to Christ. Maybe I’ll try to put that into words someday. Not today.

But the point is, God’s been with me the whole time. I think He’s been involved in my writing. I think He’s crafted and pushed me this whole time. And I have no idea where He’s leading next. But I’m here. I’m holding His hand. I’m along for the ride.

So there you go, Mr Lo. That’s why I wrote Sorrowfish. I don’t look at my meeting with Mr Jordan as pivotal, but it was definitely a signpost along the way.

There have been many.