All right. Yesterday was the 18th and there was the Wheel of Time all ready for us to watch last night. So we did. But I had had some warning about it and so I was prepared for what was coming. We knew.

And to be fair, they did quite well with some aspects of the story. The ones NOT horribly important to the original story as it was written. I loved it if I took it as fan fiction with no connection whatsoever to story Robert Jordan spent most of his time fleshing out. And if you approach this story as one Rafe Judkins wanted to tell? As what the network wanted with their own “Game of Thrones”? it’s lovely. Really.

But otherwise, you might enjoy it for an episode or two and let it go the way of the last three Star Wars films. And good on you Barney, for getting out early. Good. On. You.

Anyhow…let’s see. I’ll just go through the first episode with you. First fifteen minutes.

It starts with a ritual all the village women go through where much like African rituals where you kill a lion to become a man, the women instead go through a ritual. They get pushed off a cliff into a rapid river. If they survive that, they float down the river to a beach where they can get out. They can ever after braid their hair. So in this case, the mayor’s daughter Egwene gets pushed off the cliff by the village Wisdom.

But none of that happens in the book.

OH, and Egwene and Rand aren’t just having a flirtation they’re having a full blown sexual relationship.

Also doesn’t happen in the book.

Perrin is married.

(He’s not married in the book)

Perrin also wasn’t involved in any way with the Luhhans. They don’t exist. And Mat’s family is worthless. Also not in the book. The opposite, in fact.

Let’s see. A few other minor changes.

The kids are all aged up. That’s how they justified the other changes.

Moiraine and Lan bathe together. Yep. They’re not sexual at all. But they bathe together.

This is where it gets REALLY good.

Moiraine has heard there are umpteen t’averen in the Two Rivers and all the kids could be the dragon! Not just the men! Because, you know, the men being cursed thing isn’t a thing I guess? Men can taint the Source by touching it. So I guess saidin and saidar isn’t REALLY a thing?

It descends from there.

This is loosely. And I mean LOOSELY… loosely based fan-fiction but it lost the Robert Jordan plot 40 seconds in. I am glad I had a couple weeks to prepare for the worst.

I cannot believe Brandon Sanderson and Harriet okayed all this.

But I guess if the check is fat enough, you cash it and say thank you.